Midlife Transits

It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to post articles on a regular basis. I’ve been writing an astrology book. It’s only taken me 5 years to get around to it, but it’s finally been written! (Thank you, Pluto.)

Now that I have a breather from that, I thought I’d post something in honor of Saturn in Libra, the planet trying to teach us all something about relationships. What follows is a planetary cheat sheet for relationships.

Here’s how to use it. Get out your chart and get out the chart of the person you’re interested in. That could be the chart of a love interest, best friend, spouse, child, boss, co-worker, etc. If you don’t know the birth time of the other person, use noon. You will need the day and date of birth. The place where the person was born is helpful too.

What you’re going to be looking for is the degree numbers in your chart that are close to or the same as the degree numbers in the other person’s chart. For example, I’m looking at my chart and a former boyfriend’s chart. I note that I have sun at 23 degrees of my zodiac sign and he has Neptune at 23 degrees of Libra. He has his sun at 14 degrees of his zodiac sign; I have Uranus at 13 degrees in its sign.

His Venus is at 1 degree; my Pluto is at 3 degrees. His Jupiter is at 12 degrees; my Venus is at 15 degrees. And so on, just looking for the aspects that are close in terms of degrees. Use an orb of maybe 5 degrees for this exercise.

For the moment, we’re not looking to see if the aspects are supposedly favorable (sextile, trine) or unfavorable (square, opposition). We’re not looking for what houses they fall into. We’re just looking for the planets that are activated by these aspects. (Don’t include planets that are one sign away from each other though, such as Aquarius and Pisces).

In my experience, here’s what the planets activated by aspect seem to correlate with in relationships:

Pluto: a powerful attraction or repulsion. Continuing feelings that don’t fade with time. ‘Karmic’ or important relationship with a purpose. Problems with outside circumstances.

Neptune: a romantic attraction. Tendency toward deception or a private inner life. Neptune person idealizing the other person. Infatuation, sometimes followed by disillusionment.

Uranus: instant attraction. On again, off again relationships. Emotional and mental stimulation. A need for space within the relationship.

Saturn: long-lasting relationship. An ability to solve problems in the relationship. Obstacles within the relationship. A practical ability to be able to coordinate the logistics of the relationship and get things done together.

Jupiter: compatibility. A point of easy contact and agreement between the two people. Shared sense of humor. An ability to get along regarding superficial issues.

Mars: sexual attraction. Ability to do things together. A point of friction that keeps the relationship interesting. Willingness to pursue a relationship.

Venus: a love connection. The ability to relax together. The feeling of being cared for. Physical attraction.

Mercury: the ability to communicate. Whether you find each other interesting. Understanding how the other person thinks. The ability to socialize with other people as a couple.

Moon: love. Emotional connection. Strong feelings for one another. Empathy.

Sun: compatibility. Ability to understand each other. Equality within the relationship. Long-lasting relationships.

This is a very superficial analysis and only the beginning of exploring the relationship through astrology (sometimes known as the study of synastry). But especially in the beginning of a relationship, it can be helpful to get a quick idea of what factors in each other’s charts are being activated. And let’s face it–inquiring minds want to know!

The weekend of the cardinal cross with the moon in Cancer has passed and I wake up to find that I am very behind on some of my numerous activities. That’s one manifestation of a cross–lots of competing priorities. Nothing terrible, just a lot to do and not enough time to do it.

I had posted a podcast on relationships and was going to post a blog entry also on a few questions I get about astrology and relationships. With Saturn in Libra putting the spotlight on relationships for a couple of years, it is certainly appropriate to talk about them. Here goes, hopefully better late than never.

Can you use astrology as method to start sorting out problems that hamper success in relationships?

Yes, absolutely. I know because I have in my own life. I’m not saying I became Ms. Perfect Relationships all the time, but if you saw my chart, you’d be impressed at the problems I’ve been able to solve. I mean problems in the natal chart. This is probably the area where I’ve had the greatest success working with clients. It pains me to say that not every single client has gone on to have the relationship success I would like, but it pleases me to say that many clients have far exceeded my expectations and waltzed their way into long-lasting and happy relationships after decades of difficult ones or no relationships at all. The best way that I know of to use astrology to sort out relationship problems is to work on the issue over a series of sessions, doing a number of exercises and activities to change the pattern or get the appropriate ‘aha’ moments and integrate them. A good time to do this is often during a difficult transit for relationships (e.g., Pluto conjunct, square or opposite moon or Venus), although there are other fruitful times as well. It’s actually a fruitful time during Saturn’s transit through Libra into 2012. Relationship problems of all sorts (not just romantic relationships) are ripe to be tackled and solved.

Can you tell me when I will find the love of my life?

Sometimes, yeah. I can tell you when you are scheduled to have a good opportunity to meet someone if you want to. All time periods are not equally strong, but when they are strong, people will show up if you’re ready. That’s not saying all the people who show up will be ‘love of your life’ candidates, but the universe will throw opportunities your way.

Can you tell whether two people should get married?

No. The two people involved should always be the ones to make that decision. I can tell how the charts interact and how timing and life stages interact between charts, so I can help pinpoint issues and temporary problems and likely compromises and so on. But that doesn’t tell me whether a person ‘should’ or ‘should not’ embark upon a relationship with certain issues. That’s a personal choice. All relationships have issues and rough spots. The individuals involved decide whether it’s worth it to deal with the issues and get through the rough spots. Love, the level of commitment, timing, and circumstances can all play a role.

I’ve found that if one person in a relationship feels the need to consult an astrologer to determine if it’s a good match before marrying, then there are some doubts that need to be resolved through actual experience with the person, not through a third party. Astrology is more successful (in my opinion) in determining what is going on in a relationship and what it means to the parties involved than in telling the two people whether they should be in the relationship or not. Astrology is also not a substitute for doing the work in a relationship, although it can be very reassuring in terms of dealing with issues that need to be resolved. Problems and questions can be addressed, but the ultimate boss of any person’s life is that person, not a chart or an astrologer.

Can you tell what kinds of problems there are likely to be in a relationship by looking at the two charts?

Generally, yes, the two charts give a lot of insight into that. That’s one benefit of looking at astrology to help think through a relationship. Another element is the timing of when the relationship started. Relationships that start under certain kinds of transits tend to be more ‘successful’ in my experience than those that start out under other kinds of transits. Example: Pluto trine moon seems to produce helpful relationships, while Neptune square moon tends to produce relationships that are ultimately disappointing or based on some sort of deception.

Can you tell what type of a person I will be attracted to?

Again, yes, the astrological chart gives pretty strong clues as to what type of person your chart will be attracted to and when. It will also tend to give good information on patterns of attraction, e.g., if you seem to keep falling for the ‘wrong’ type of person. The chart, with enough analysis, can generally reveal the basis for the pattern and how it can be altered.

Can you tell me how to find love?

I can tell you the types of things that tend to work best for your chart, i.e., what fits your chart’s preferences. I can also tell you what kinds of things can be helpful during certain transits or progressions. So, to a certain extent, yes. It also depends on the strength of the transits and progressions involved. Sometimes the universe will not place someone in your path because the timing is just not right, even if you want it to be. But, as with most things in life, you can up your chances of success by taking smart actions.

Finally, I should emphasize that these statements are made based on my experience as a consulting astrologer. Different astrologers have different gifts and different ways of seeing things or interpreting things. For me, relationship counseling is one of the things that seems to be most successful.